By Angel Franssen
There is so much to say about Bidi, it could fill a book. And to be honest, I am of the opinion the words I will write down here, will not give him enough honor, as he was and in many people's hearts and minds, a very outspoken man, a man of many words, insights and an enormous amount of knowledge in a lot of different areas. A man who, for a lot of people, will always be remembered as the enthusiastic, non-stop talking music lover, always noticeable present at parties, concerts and Festivals. If not for his talks, than for his stature, his height and his wild curly hair.
As I was fortunate to have shared my life with him for close to 3 years, I was unfortunate as well, as it was only 3 short years instead of the rest of my life. I am afraid I will not do him enough justice when trying to describe Bidi as he was, when I was with him, but I will do the best I can.
His mother told me, that even as a little boy, he was very steadfast and knew exactly what he wanted. He would always choose his own path and never follow 'the herd'. If his fellow schoolkids would walk this way to school, than he would take a roundabout way. Going to the doctor, not with his parents, but by himself. At school he was very firm of not participating in activities he didn't like. Instead he would read. And I guess, this was something he has always done his entire life. Being steadfast and always follow his own way, never following 'the herd'!
The years we shared together, Bidi has learned me an awful lot, about the world, politics, about himself, but also about myself..
As all might know, his work in the music industry he did without fail and always with his whole being. What many people probably don't know is that he also loved to just spend time at home, with our kitty girls and me. Playing games, watching tv-shows, movies, or the news, just the two of us, enjoying each-others presence, snuggling, or just spending the evenings discussing politics, people and how we look at things. About my studies, his ideas, our plans, his work and our future with all its possibilities. We also walked a lot, wandering about in Tilburg, talking about all and nothing. We did that an awful lot, talking and sometimes the speaking itself would be equally divided, but more often Bidi did the talking and I would listen. I enjoyed it so much and when he was doing his monologue, I would look at him so intently he would start to blush, becoming a bit shy, asking why I was looking at him and I would than jokingly call him the light of my life. The last night we spend together, I remember so vividly. I was already half asleep, but when he came into to the bedroom, I let him know I was still awake, albeit only half. At that moment he started talking very enthusiastically about California and how they would reject the White House and become a separate state. And although I wanted to hear all he had to say, I was too tired to give him my full attention. When he noticed, we just cuddled, until I fell asleep, spooning, me holding his hand.
He always stood by me, even when I was unreasonable. We always figured things out together and we knew that we would always get through things together, no matter how hard or difficult. He was a man easy to love, hold dear and give in return without a second thought. His enthusiasm was infectious and whenever he would show or let me hear me a new band he discovered, I couldn't do anything other than to join him is his delight, as many others might have experienced that themselves.
Bidi was a person always prepared to help people, maybe sometimes even a bit at cost of himself, but that attention and help he provided, made people love him as much as they do and respect him profoundly. And it is this quality of his that has become very notable after his passing. The love and support he has always given, has been returned in full and is still being returned. The love and support provided me and the support and love I have been able to give them in return. Those he wanted me to get to know better, I now call dear friends and people I would not want to lose, no matter what.
Bid and I were well on our way to what I call a very mature relationship and even though we did have an occasional difference of opinions, it only strengthened our bond, and there is no doubt in my mind, if things were different, we would have grown old together.
The most precious things he has taught me, are to always have an open heart and let people in, as well as accept myself for who I am, flaws and all. And although I wasn't always the easiest woman to be around, he gave me his heart unconditional and to the fullest and I gave him mine.
For me, Bidi was the love of my life, my man and he will always be my man who let me love him in return, to open up to others, to accept help and to accept myself. He healed me, made me a whole person and he complemented me. I am still very honored he loved me as much as I love him. He was, is and always will be my partner, my teacher, my man, my lover, my burning star!